Years have slipped by since my Dad passed. It is still easy to remember his looks, his habits, his laugh and the distinct aroma of Old Spice. However, what I remember most are the lessons I learned being his son.
LOVE
We are an affectionate family, but it embarrassed Dad to have affection lauded on him. He showed his love, devotion and care in much less visible, less outward gestures. I recall at his death my sisters and I remarked on how it unruffled him when you demonstrated public affection to him. Not that he did not appreciate it, he just did not know how to accept it without embarrassment..
STABILITY
Never was there a doubt in his dedication to Mom or his family. He supported her in everything she attempted to accomplish. His devotion was evidenced daily as they dined together at the same local restaurant. In the same place, with the same menu, with the same people, same old-same old. Mom and Dad was a fixture in their community, an example of stability. They gave everything a sense of normalcy.
INSIGHT
Dad generously gave advice, but did not so that you felt he was prying of judging. But when he said, “ I don’t know if I would do that”. You pretty well knew he disapproved of what ever it was you might be about to do. Dad saw an extreme cross-section of the peoples that make up the palette that is Alabama. He dealt daily with those who were trying to repair their transportation, as economically as possible; along with those restoring vintage automobiles and trucks, where cost was no object.
PREPARATION
Dad believed in planning, planing to plan and planning to plan to plan. No surprises, no mistakes. “Work smart, not hard. Examine the situation you are encountering and solve it the easiest way possible. It will not always be quickest, but will always be easiest.
LOYALTY
Dad taught me how to be loyal and why to be loyal. He demonstrated that respect came with being loyal. He cultivated loyalty from others with giving them respect. I saw the manner in which my father dealt with each customer. Treating each telephone call as an individual instance without preconceived notions. I also witnessed the respect he had garnered over the years by the number of former business associates and employees that attended his funeral.
FAIRNESS
Dad firmly believed in the “Golden Rule”. He gave everyone a level start. No preconceived notions. It mattered not if a customers or passers-by were chicken catchers, bankers, factory workers, former governors or scarlet necked farmers. “Everyone deserves respect until they personally wrong you. Give everyone a fair starting place, a level playing field,” he would say. “Don’t pay attention to education, color, religion or wealth. All of us are equal in God’s eyes.” I have been able to witness the reputation my father gained by his respect and fairness many times in my many trails. One instance that clearly stands out in my mind happened to me while my family was living in Tennessee.
On a rare afternoon off from work, I was “shopping” for a new “used” car and visiting several dealerships in our local area. After walking one particular lot, the owner approached without being overzealous. He inquired as to my needs and desires. He began making small talk, as successful sales persons should. Putting my mind at ease, rather than going in for the kill. He continued to probe with questions, narrowing down the features I was interested in including. Then switching to small talk again he asked, “Where are ya from?” Obviously, he did not recognize me as a local.
I responded in kind with, “Cullman, AL, originally.”
He said, “I think that I know someone from there. A real square-dealer. Do you know this fella?, a, I believe his name was.....?”
I grinned with pride and said, “Yes, I believe that I do know him. Especially since I grew up as his son.”
The dealer was startled at the coincidence of the occasion. No I did not purchase a “new” car, but came away from there with a renewed sense of paternal pride. It builds your character when we know someone who is built up, especially your Dad.
ADAPTABILITY
Change is necessary, although unpleasant. I have experienced abundant change in my life. Not as much as some folks, but quite a lot. With each change we lose something we had. We also gain new experiences and discover new places, new things, and maybe best of all new food. I’ve moved often enough, my nuclear family adapts quickly and actively. My perspective of humanity changes each time I move, I still don’t understand us.
My genetic code still puts unexplained passion for certain things in mind. My code gave me these passions. Faith in God, my wife, my daughter, my family; I know these are all given. So here’s the real list; “Real” democracy, Barbecue (sauce on the side please), Catfish and coleslaw, Music, the South and its people, Literature, Story Telling, Auburn (the lovliest village on the plains), Places I’ve lived and People I know.
LSIPLFA does not spell anything, so no acronyms please.
It’s a small, small world. We better realize it. Learn some lessons. Change our approach and enjoy each other and what we have. For far too soon we are gone and cannot say what we should have. We never know who is under our influence. We don’t know who we touch and how we touch them. It would be far too easy to see the outcome before the action. Some things would not get done.
I hope by striving to impart his wisdom I will be able to leave worthy tracks along the pathway of life. I only regret his view and outlook ceased with his passing. My daughter hardly knew him, just as I hardly knew my grandparents. Fortunately for my daughter, my in-laws have been there to assist in her growth as an individual. They have imparted their collective wisdom, knowledge and outlook and she has responded in a manner to which Dad would be proud. I am also sure my Mom would have some kind of enormous scrapbook with tattered news clippings and pictures, oh, she loved those pictures.
Dad spoke with me privately just moments before my wedding, with his philosophy on marriage and how to respect your mate. I still treasure this conversation with “Pop” as one I hold most dear. I strive to achieve this pinnacle of marriage my parents had, when in reality they had struggles along the way also and money issues, and anger. Those are normal occurrences. How we deal with them is how we succeed.
Life is not perfect, it is life.
Don’t fret Dad, it is still hot in July and August. She loves Auburn and she made the dean’s list. You would love her work ethic and dedication. She now is teaching others about our world and has a scientific mind just like her grandad.
LOVE
We are an affectionate family, but it embarrassed Dad to have affection lauded on him. He showed his love, devotion and care in much less visible, less outward gestures. I recall at his death my sisters and I remarked on how it unruffled him when you demonstrated public affection to him. Not that he did not appreciate it, he just did not know how to accept it without embarrassment..
STABILITY
Never was there a doubt in his dedication to Mom or his family. He supported her in everything she attempted to accomplish. His devotion was evidenced daily as they dined together at the same local restaurant. In the same place, with the same menu, with the same people, same old-same old. Mom and Dad was a fixture in their community, an example of stability. They gave everything a sense of normalcy.
INSIGHT
Dad generously gave advice, but did not so that you felt he was prying of judging. But when he said, “ I don’t know if I would do that”. You pretty well knew he disapproved of what ever it was you might be about to do. Dad saw an extreme cross-section of the peoples that make up the palette that is Alabama. He dealt daily with those who were trying to repair their transportation, as economically as possible; along with those restoring vintage automobiles and trucks, where cost was no object.
PREPARATION
Dad believed in planning, planing to plan and planning to plan to plan. No surprises, no mistakes. “Work smart, not hard. Examine the situation you are encountering and solve it the easiest way possible. It will not always be quickest, but will always be easiest.
LOYALTY
Dad taught me how to be loyal and why to be loyal. He demonstrated that respect came with being loyal. He cultivated loyalty from others with giving them respect. I saw the manner in which my father dealt with each customer. Treating each telephone call as an individual instance without preconceived notions. I also witnessed the respect he had garnered over the years by the number of former business associates and employees that attended his funeral.
FAIRNESS
Dad firmly believed in the “Golden Rule”. He gave everyone a level start. No preconceived notions. It mattered not if a customers or passers-by were chicken catchers, bankers, factory workers, former governors or scarlet necked farmers. “Everyone deserves respect until they personally wrong you. Give everyone a fair starting place, a level playing field,” he would say. “Don’t pay attention to education, color, religion or wealth. All of us are equal in God’s eyes.” I have been able to witness the reputation my father gained by his respect and fairness many times in my many trails. One instance that clearly stands out in my mind happened to me while my family was living in Tennessee.
On a rare afternoon off from work, I was “shopping” for a new “used” car and visiting several dealerships in our local area. After walking one particular lot, the owner approached without being overzealous. He inquired as to my needs and desires. He began making small talk, as successful sales persons should. Putting my mind at ease, rather than going in for the kill. He continued to probe with questions, narrowing down the features I was interested in including. Then switching to small talk again he asked, “Where are ya from?” Obviously, he did not recognize me as a local.
I responded in kind with, “Cullman, AL, originally.”
He said, “I think that I know someone from there. A real square-dealer. Do you know this fella?, a, I believe his name was.....?”
I grinned with pride and said, “Yes, I believe that I do know him. Especially since I grew up as his son.”
The dealer was startled at the coincidence of the occasion. No I did not purchase a “new” car, but came away from there with a renewed sense of paternal pride. It builds your character when we know someone who is built up, especially your Dad.
ADAPTABILITY
Change is necessary, although unpleasant. I have experienced abundant change in my life. Not as much as some folks, but quite a lot. With each change we lose something we had. We also gain new experiences and discover new places, new things, and maybe best of all new food. I’ve moved often enough, my nuclear family adapts quickly and actively. My perspective of humanity changes each time I move, I still don’t understand us.
My genetic code still puts unexplained passion for certain things in mind. My code gave me these passions. Faith in God, my wife, my daughter, my family; I know these are all given. So here’s the real list; “Real” democracy, Barbecue (sauce on the side please), Catfish and coleslaw, Music, the South and its people, Literature, Story Telling, Auburn (the lovliest village on the plains), Places I’ve lived and People I know.
LSIPLFA does not spell anything, so no acronyms please.
It’s a small, small world. We better realize it. Learn some lessons. Change our approach and enjoy each other and what we have. For far too soon we are gone and cannot say what we should have. We never know who is under our influence. We don’t know who we touch and how we touch them. It would be far too easy to see the outcome before the action. Some things would not get done.
I hope by striving to impart his wisdom I will be able to leave worthy tracks along the pathway of life. I only regret his view and outlook ceased with his passing. My daughter hardly knew him, just as I hardly knew my grandparents. Fortunately for my daughter, my in-laws have been there to assist in her growth as an individual. They have imparted their collective wisdom, knowledge and outlook and she has responded in a manner to which Dad would be proud. I am also sure my Mom would have some kind of enormous scrapbook with tattered news clippings and pictures, oh, she loved those pictures.
Dad spoke with me privately just moments before my wedding, with his philosophy on marriage and how to respect your mate. I still treasure this conversation with “Pop” as one I hold most dear. I strive to achieve this pinnacle of marriage my parents had, when in reality they had struggles along the way also and money issues, and anger. Those are normal occurrences. How we deal with them is how we succeed.
Life is not perfect, it is life.
Don’t fret Dad, it is still hot in July and August. She loves Auburn and she made the dean’s list. You would love her work ethic and dedication. She now is teaching others about our world and has a scientific mind just like her grandad.
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